And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud
was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin ~

 

When I was in my twenties, over thirty-five years ago, I started what has become a life long contemplation: how do we create the authentic lasting change that allows us to have the life we long for? At the time I was studying psychology, involved with the personal growth movement, marching for peace and women’s liberation. The meaning of love perplexed me, and my vision of peace and equality seemed unreachable. I saw that people suffered abuse, shame, betrayal and humiliation, sometimes self-inflicted, but also from those who were entrusted with their love and care: families, church, government and schools. I realized that my own life was not coming together as I had envisioned; I attracted negativity and was stuck in a repetitive cycle of debilitating patterns that left me unfulfilled, disconnected, scared and lost. Yet from a deep place within, from that place of ‘knowing’, I was sure that there was another way of being. Intuitively I believed in the wisdom of the body, the connection of body and mind and the oneness of consciousness. I believed in a ‘soul love’ and this belief sparked a deep and enduring search for understanding and answers.

My personal healing journey has been a long and arduous process. I knew that change had to come from within and believed that the therapeutic process held the potential for transformation. I committed to talk therapy, a process that gave me insight into my deepest wounds and the defenses that contributed to my anxiety and depression along with better ways of expressing my needs, dealing with symptoms and coping with life. Yet after years of self-effort, the progress I made didn’t seem to hold and something was still missing. I remained locked into limiting patterns, thoughts and behaviors that kept me from manifesting the authentic, meaningful life and relationships I longed for. Instead fear, negativity, judgment and blame were my constant companions. The connection and unity I yearned for continued to be out of reach.

Despite these obstacles my deep longing for transformation continued and new questions were added. How can we change the beliefs and thoughts that keep us locked into self-defeating emotional patterns? How do we reprogram our unconscious choices and resistance that stand in the way of our manifesting personal happiness? When we do make strides in our personal growth how can we anchor those changes so that they hold? What methods will clear the way to attracting healthy relationships and meaningful work? What keeps us from finding and expressing our passion? How do we access our true essence, the Supreme love that abides in our heart? The teachings came as the questions were contemplated and experience unfolded to reveal answers. I found meditation, studied and practiced Eastern Spirituality, obtained an MA in Transpersonal Counseling Psychology, trained in Body-centered Psychotherapy and became a certified Energy Psychology Practitioner and Trainer.

There is now scientific evidence that backs what I intuitively believed to be true: the body and mind are connected. Memories, emotions and feelings are imprinted in every cell of the body, and these imprints affect the way we perceive and live our life. The mind is a great mystery; knowing my own mind through focusing on the body became my path. The Indian sages say that the mind is the cause of happiness, unhappiness, bondage and liberation; a spiritual teacher, Swami Muktananda, says that if there is anything worth knowing in the world, it is the mind. I learned that I alone was responsible for my state of mind. Transformation took on a different meaning. I did not have to “change” or become something or someone different. The transformation that I was seeking was already within me. I just had to find it, realize it. My personal self, my ego, was getting in the way of the emergence of my true inner essence.

I have traveled a path that has given me guidance and profound healing. My own personal transformation is an ongoing process, changing the deeply ingrained patterns of thought, emotions and behaviors that kept me trapped in the past or future rather than living in the present moment where I am able to make life affirming choices. This process has touched me deeply, changed my way of experiencing the world and being in relationship. I have had profound experiences, discovering that my true inner nature is that of love and wisdom. In this life I have been blessed to cross paths with teachers and healers who have helped to guide and facilitate my personal transformation. To these men and women I feel tremendous gratitude for their courage, dedication, wisdom, generosity and love.

My intention as a counselor is to give back and share with others the love and guidance that has been given to me. I believe that for holistic healing to happen, we need to bridge psychology and spirituality and ground it in the body. My approach includes self-inquiry, awareness, mind/body self-help techniques, meditation, and non-violent communication along with mind/body therapies that combine contemporary psychology with ancient healing traditions.